Hacks for Happy Toddlers + the Terrific Twos.

>> the Dangers of ‘Tantrum’ + ‘Timeout’ and what your Toddler is really telling you.

Today’s blog is dedicated to Early Childhood Mental Health and all Toddlers. It’s a call out and a shout out to all Mothers! Yes Women who have given Birth. It’s time to re-write early childhood development. And infuse it with Earth Mother Knowledge, Wisdom and Principles, straight out of Matriarchy!

It’s time to unite and in-sight! In-sight into our magic little people. Our little Guests of Honour. Our Children. Who have their feelings and needs trampled upon every day by careless and clueless adults.

This is Toddler Mentorship for the new Era.

Why? Because for 2 millennia we’ve been living in a male world with male ways of thinking and doing things that are just downright wrong and dangerous. It’s time to upset the applecart, overthrow the male theories of old, throw the books away and upsmart. Turn around bright eyes.

→ It’s all so last century Ladies, leave it there. Grab a cuppa, settle in and enjoy learning all the basics you need for the Terrific Twos. I got you covered.

→ Be mindful that children now are ready for the new era, stuck with parents in a system of the last era. You savvy?

Males got their grubby hands on our pregnant foreMothers about 800 years ago and have since told us how to Birth and Mother with disastrous consequences. The sheer audacity of it! They don’t do it! It’s downright detrimental. And like any virus, it has spread far and wide. Holy hammer this shit has to stop! For the safety, health and well-being of all Mothers and our precious babies and toddlers, our next generations, who are grossly misunderstood.

‘Tantrum’ aka unmet needs

Describing a two year olds behaviour as ‘unruly’ shows loud and clear adults don’t know what they’re doing. Dismissing needs as a ‘tantrum’ is clueless and unconscious. It stems from his-story after the burning days. Mothers were burnt at the stake. And children were left. Mothers were slaves. And children were left. Mothers were refugees. And children were left. Mothers were in war and genocide. And children were left. Mothers were making the nursery. And children were left. Mothers were at work. And children were left. Mothers were home alone, depressed. And children were left. Children were taken from their Mothers. And Mothers were left.

‘Since the Dawn of Time, the very root of civilisation and kinship bonds have passed through the Female line – the Mother-infant line – Heritage. ‘Home and Mother’ are written over every phase of neolithic agriculture.‘

The onset of patriarchy began with the Witch mania and the subsequent enforced ‘father and son’ bullshit completely devoid of ‘Woman and Mother’. For 2 millennia, his-story has waged unremitting war on the Feminine in their quest for control and greed. Hell bent on annihilating the Feminine and destroying the Mother-infant line. Riddled with reversals, genital cutting, cry-it-out and hideous separation techniques. (our mothers had dr spock = major red flag people!!). Facts are facts, all in the his-story books. The same story, around the globe, for 2 millennia. Criminal, sinister, unacceptable and unconscionable. The damage is plain to see. Humanity is in crisis, all in the name of the father. Wakey wakey.

Now we have the next wave of insult to injury – the wounded gender – bypassing Mothers, claiming to be mothers, experimenting on Mothers, blaming Mothers. We need an intergalactic intervention! Thank goodness for Universal Laws. Thank goodness the Larger Cycles at work have shifted = Karmic Revolution. Enough is enough.

Fact: when the system on Earth annihilates the Feminine, humanity is fucked up. The end. Take a good hard look! What a shambles. Thank goodness this repulsive, defective time is at an end. We cannot continue as we are.

As a result, the amount of unconscious behaviour’s and bullshit being doled out to our little people is atrocious, despicable and unacceptable. I cannot believe the hideous indifference and lack of empathy towards babies and toddlers in a society that shouts it from the rooftops. Actions vs words. And parent ego states. And father rights. And fuck-up rights. And mad men at the helm. And sleeping beauties. What a fucking mess.

We live in an ass-about-face, anti-mothering system, where children’s needs are being sacrificed for the dollar every day. Don’t kid yourself – you drop your toddler off to day care, the government is raising your child. With people fluent in male theories. With childless workers. With male workers. With other sad children. In harms way. Way too long. Way too young. Too young to navigate any of it. All coping in the only way they know how. They don’t have the words or the maturity. They don’t have a choice. They stop crying eventually. They shut down. They push their emotions and unmet needs down, along with their worth. They want to please you and be ‘good’. They follow the yellow brick road, or else. They present with illness – ranging from asthma to boils. They fall apart later on in life.

Example: have you ever witnessed the daycare village idiot (or mean kid) who runs amok with the children and the staff are oblivious? Or see the sick kids who should be home being taken care of? Or be frowned upon when you stay with your child to help them familiarize the joint. Or witness the male shutting down the crying children? And all of the above. It’s just shocking. Steer clear. (did you know that most high school drop outs go into day care employment? Scary).

→ I sacrificed the dollar to meet my child’s needs. This system forces Mothers to sacrifice their child’s needs for the dollar. Things need to change.

Every child with a ‘syndrome’ is a child without self containment, with unconscious parents and unmet needs. (and/or Karmic lessons). Anyone can provide food and shelter. Children ‘survive’ all sorts. Rosemary West was a half-wit serial killer wife who pumped out 8 children. (Her mother was wounded – childhood abuse + given ect during pregnancy for depression = hideous). Genuine Conscious Mothering is a realm above and beyond. Above and beyond biology, formula and pacifiers. Problem is, it’s all been fucked up.

→ The downfall of the Mother-rite has been the downfall of us All.

Yes, there’s plenty of patriarchy to unlearn.

>> Tips to get the most out of this blog:

• You’re unlearning!
• Keep your mind open and your defensiveness down
• Congratulations: you’re here to offload conditioning and relearn Earth Mothering
• We live in an anti-Mothering society riddled with passive aggressive behaviour
• Most people are wounded children in adult bodies, on repeat
• Understanding your child will help you understand & repair your own inner child
• Healthy re-educated Mothers and toddlers has a powerful knock-on effect
• The sooner we get our babies & toddlers out of institutions the better
• It’s time to outlaw and abolish hideous separation techniques & malpractices
• Babies are born brilliant – they don’t need training, their Mother’s do
• Understanding your Toddler leads to the Terrific Two’s
• Do yourself a favour and throw the books and clocks away
• Beware the ‘harried life’ and the ‘busy mask’
• Did I mention, you’re unlearning. Good

→ I’ll give you a Matriarchal point of reference so us smart Women can pave the way up and out of this quagmire.

I’ll always speak up for them!

Yep always. Regardless of any self righteous indignation which stems from unconscious mindset, imperfect mothers and ingrained patriarchal reversals. Stay with me. This is not a personal affront. This is a dose of tough love and Earth Mother Knowledge. It’s your birthright. You needed it. You didn’t receive it. So how can you give it to your child? You cannot. And that’s sad. And that’s part of the problem in the world.

Precaution:

Beware ‘active ignoring’. It’s a major red flag, a massive indicator of no parenting skills, unconsciousness and is detrimental to children’s mental and emotional health. Keep in mind the male paradigm in which we live still promotes their version, the scholars are fluent in patriarchy – it’s a self perpetuating system. Take note: those of us who know better, do better, guide and teach better. It’s time to pave a better, smarter way, up and out of this quagmire and the old school system. You’re active unlearning for the sake of your children.

Once upon a time since the dawn of time, we’ve lived in Matriarchal, Mammalian Clans. Our wise Mothers were our midwives and our wise counsel during Motherhood. Mothering was a safe, Wise and Free enterprise. It truly did take a village to grow our children in safety and well-being with Wise, Healthy, Rejuvenated, supported Mothers. Earth & Soul Knowledge was mainstream. It was the baseline standard. Sadly, it was desecrated, destroyed and demolished during the Witch mania and destruction of our Grand Temples + Schools. And humanity has been impoverished, in turmoil and imbalance ever since. The damage is plain to see. Enough is enough. No labs, dollars, pills or labels will fix it. The very system that created it cannot and will not fix it. They have a vested interest in the maintenance and preservation of the status quo.

‘Healing the Feminine Psyche heals society’ ¬ Amanda jT

My Gift to you:

• I understand human beings on every level
• I have the eyes to see what most do not
• I researched the ‘how & why’ we got here for 3x decades
• I’m an Earth Mother fluent in ancient Knowledge, born to share it with you
• It’s my destiny to return the Woman’s Domain back into mainstream for humanity
• and to help you wise up and tune in again

→ Because Conscious Mothers understand what their children do not say. It’s a Universal fact we’re intrinsically linked to our babies! (We’re hard wired to kill for them too – Lioness code).

The first 5 years has the Power to illuminate or sadden a child’s life forever

Helping Mother’s get better helps humanity get better. The minefield of Motherhood misinformation is rife. Unconscious, imperfect mothering causes all manner of dysfunction, upset, anxiety, syndromes and sadness in children. The proof really is in the pudding.

Pro Tip:

Children yell and scream at deaf and dumb adults. It’s all they have to get the message across! They’re expressing their innate needs! No-one should be punished for expressing emotions, especially young children. (unless it’s riotous of course).

Fact: every single person with out-of-whack emotions had their emotions thwarted & wounded in childhood! One of the underpinnings of domestic violence is suppressed rage which stems from terrible twos > thwarted activation of the Will & Assertiveness. Unprocessed emotions are stored in the bowel which leads to irritable bowel syndrome & cancer. Fear is stored in the kidneys. Anger in the liver. Grief in the lungs. And yes, Medical Astrology is above & beyond orthodox six-minute medicine treating symptoms, not causes.

I understand human beings inside and out. I’ve spent decades specialising in it. I have a multi-disciplinary background from peri-operative Nursing to Counselling: transactional analysis in family systems (TA), Life Coaching and esoteric Astrology: specialty in Medical. I’m passionate about personal development and investigating with my scorpio-detective-brain. I understand why things are the way they are. I understand the origins and deep seated root causes and underpinnings of it all – behaviours, dis-ease and violence cycles and the mechanics of cruelty. Because I was a soulful little nature child who suffered the same fate in this society at the hands of idiots & my father. I’ve question this BS since childhood. I’m here to help you all, my Sistars around the World, to wise up too. Irrespective of our uniqueness, our Circle of Needs is the same. Imagine what we can achieve with a baseline of Emotional Intelligence and Feminine Wisdom! This is ancient Knowledge for Women. Yes, authentic, biological Women – not negotiable!

As a youngster I spoke little and observed everything. I could look into someone’s eyes and see into their Soul in a flash. I could see them. Their gifts, their challenges, their pains, their path, their aspirations, their lies and their masks. All of it. In a flash. No judgement. Just discernment. I could see the good, the bad and the ugly. I have well honed spidey-senses and the eyes to see. I could tell a good egg from bad. I’m a very Old Soul. I’m also an Earth Mother, fluent in Matriarchy & the Woman’s Domain. Born to return it to mainstream.

Fact: Children and animals are the Best Barometers! They spot & sense bad news bears a mile away! Always listen to your child. Always take note when your youngster hides behind your skirts. They see what you don’t! What you’ve forgotten – spidey senses.

So please understand I will ALWAYS advocate for Women, Mothers & Children. I’m fluent in their language, your language. I was born to help you and humanity undo the patriarchal ingrained conditioning – the reversals in our Mindset, Language, Birthing, Mothering, Mythology and Symbols. And restore Matriarchal Wisdom for the betterment of us all.

Unlearning and relearning.

Deprogram, Recover & Empower. Stay with me. Keep in mind, Mothering is above and beyond biology and 5-sensory science. It’s above and beyond, and wholly foreign to, the male experience. And until you’ve done it, there’s a whole realm you know nothing about. It’s time to undo & repair the global wounded Feminine.

‘Woman is the Soul aligned with Nature who brings forth Life.’

Unfortunately, since the Witch mania days, Birth and Mothering has been severely messed up courtesy of king & clergy. Damaged children having children, generation after generation. In heartache and hardship. With evil step mothers and the three ugly sisters. There’s a massive rift between the two clans – Conscious Mothers and unconscious ones > the masses. There’s defensiveness and ghosting and dumbing-down and pc and passive and resilient and all sorts of shit going on in the name of ‘my style’. It’s all just the same-same-but-different unconsciousness.

The mask of motherhood is rife along with the minefield of motherhood mis-information. And children are paying the price. Undoing this is an essential healing act for Women, and humanity. Read that again.

‘The survival and wellbeing of the next 7 generations depends on every thought and action we take now’ ¬ the Good Red Road

→ Right now they’re in jeopardy.

01. Unlearning.

So now you’ve had a little in-sight into how this was all fucked up with males in charge. This systemic fucked-up-ness has originated during and after the Witch mania, over the last 2 millennia. Homesteads, headmasters, (dick)heads of households, king and clergy. Ugh. Gross. The facts are all throughout his-story, in churches, books and films.

→ The word ‘witch’ means Wise-woman in old Latin. Fluent in Astrophysical Knowledge. (not woo-woo or hippie fluff). We are her descendants. Ever wondered why they were persecuted? Now you do. (The scholars are fluent in his-story: they don’t teach this).

They deemed Women would birth in sorrow > danger and pain, alone and vulnerable in front of king and clergy. Assholes, fully aware of what they were doing! Up until the 1960’s women were still immobilized covered by a sheet being dictated and ‘done to’ by males in charge with nurses, trained in male obs, dutifully carrying out their dirty work causing all manner of strife and trauma to Mothers. Still are. The amount of young childless nurses who have never given birth telling us how to Birth is just ridiculous. No birthing Woman ever needs to be told to breathe or when to push – it’s an automatic Internal gig!! Hands off! And media portrayal of birth is just hideous and insulting.

→ Birth is a very private and peaceful affair that belongs in the Woman’s Domain. We are the Active & Nurturing Principle here on Earth. Not passive. (they have an orgasm, we do the rest).

I remember in my nursing days working on the Maternity ward. I have never seen so many pale & forlorn faces. The nurses were shaking the baby in accordance with the wanker male video on repeat in the rooms. Cringe. I attended 5x births witnessing women being done-to with male obs. Hideous and cruel. I myself encountered danger and malpractice as a birthing Mother. (lucky I was able to speak up for myself).

‘How do we know when patriarchy have achieved their goal? When the damaged women carry out their dirty work.’

Male Anti-Mothering Techniques

The following is a list of male introduced hideous, detrimental reversals, separation techniques and malpractices:

• Birthing flat on backs > pain, reduction in gravity, blood, oxygen, being ‘done to’
• Routine shave, episiotomy and enema
• Birth and baby trauma > injury & death to Mother and/or child
• Dislocation of baby shoulder (dystocia due to immobilization)
• Cord cutting > loss of vital placental transfusion
• Spanking newborns > unnecessary pain and terror to newborn
• Newborn placed in nursery > with regimented feeding (used to be every 4x HOURS! = hungry, dehydrated, hysterical baby > loss of supply & demand of Mother’s milk & mastitis)
• Loss of breastmilk > introduction of formula & dummy
• Top up feeds > formula, decrease/loss of Mother’s milk
• Routine genital cutting > torture & terror, shock & shut down (loss of assimilation of emotions, sexuality/gender issues, boys in the west, girls around the globe > lost Warrior & Heroine Code)
• Cry-it-out > neglect, abandonment, fear, loss of trust, shut-down, fear & confusion, hysteria, vomit, disrupted sleep & feeding, exhaustion
• Separation from Mother > abnormal, cot death, fear, anxiety, confusion, saddness & abandonment
• Lost Co-sleeping > baby alone, fretting, crying, mother out-of-tune
• Sleep training > against natural rhythms & developmental phases (to suit unconscious mothers, working mothers, unhealthy and lazy mothers)
• Unmet needs > dismissed as ‘tantrum’
• Timeout/naughty step > punishment
• Self-soothing > age inappropriate, neglect, anxiety
• Terrible twos > unmet needs & reactive attachment disorder
• Hitting > punishment & lack of parenting skills
• Conditional love > based on ‘good’ behaviour
• Ridicule/criticism > mental cruelty, put-down, insult, victim/bully dynamic
• Passive/aggressive > thwarted Activation of Will & Assertiveness
• Parent ego state > unconscious, co-dependent, guilt trip & leaky parenting
• Incest, slavery & trafficking > paedophile rings, freaks, fetishes, trans & incels
• the gilgal society > sick, depraved, evil, genital cutting
• medical experiments > all in the name of science

→ Separation anxiety is separation anxiety! Pre his-story, children were never separated from their Mother before the age of 6 years.

Mythbusting

It’s time to abolish and eliminate these dangerous and detri-mental reversals and malpractices!

Unconscious parenting takes many forms and guises but is what it is – not to be dismissed or justified as ‘this is my parenting style’. The above list is far from exhaustive obviously but shows the many ways in which children are wounded & damaged with well intentioned folks repeating the detrimental reversals. Of course the extremely low level dangerous parents are the narcissistic, overbearing, abusive, misguided, punitive rules etc crew who do the greatest damage of all. It’s time to shift and uplift. It’s time to quit repeating the same unconscious shit – and shift the Karmic Cycle. The lessons of the last 2 millennia have been learned → wounded Feminine = wounded psyche + society. This not a personal affront. This is a wake up call!

→ Just because 6 billion people are doing stupid shit doesn’t alter the fact that 6 billion people are doing stupid shit. The unconscious masses.

Fact: each and everyone of us on Earth is unique with a unique path with lessons to learn. There are two parenting styles – Conscious & unconscious. There are get ups and set ups and conditioning and life lessons and karmic debts and worldviews and belief systems 3.5 light years wide! Perceptions change daily. But what we do need to change is the baseline standard by restoring the Golden Art of Earth Mothering & Knowledge so we can rise up and out of this current quagmire. We’re capable of so much more!

→ Have you ever wondered why anxiety and depression is widespread? Why you suffer from it? Why Women are sick and tired, fatigued and feeling ‘not good enough?’ Now you do.

‘This is not the human condition, simply conditioned humans in patriarchy’ ¬ Amanda jT

→ It’s Time for the return of Universal Mother Laws.

There’s a myriad of unconscious parenting going on.

¬ Battle of Wills. Aka the absence of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Aka ignorance. Aka control. Arguing with a child is a major indicator of ‘damaged child in adult body’. Same with indifference, stonewalling (toxic silent treatment) and passive aggressive behaviours. I’ve witnessed parents create issues over chocolate milk with 3 yr olds, increase the car radio volume to drown out the child’s cry and mother’s create issues for children then enlist the father to discipline & hit. Cringe.

¬ Parental jealousy – children spot ‘awake’ conscious people a mile away. They can see auras and Wise Ones. They know when they’re safe, heard and understood. They will naturally sit, snuggle & spend time with conscious people/mothers. Sadly their unconscious mothers dislike it and will shut it down. Their fathers will hit them and scold them and send to bedroom for timeout. Shame on you.

¬ the Academic parent – the mental realm folks, with the day care kid coz mummy needs her time. The ‘experts’ and the ‘bache’ types riddled with male theories of old. The Uni parents who have ‘little professor’ kids getting their strokes with ‘look how clever I am’. The little goody-2-shoes or the train wreck kid with thwarted emotions. The know-all-know-fuck-all types who don’t understand emotions. They attempt to parent via words. The polar opposite is the hippie parent type who overdoes the touchy-feely ‘we’re so spiritual’ shit. (aka pseudo-spiritual).

¬ the Critical parent – aka the covert insult & shaming parent. If you choose to leave a toddler in a nappy due to your failure to understand Elimination Communication (EC) then don’t shame them for soiling the nappy! Shame on you. Ridicule and shaming is bullying and causes the child great internal suffering, sadness and distress. Do not laugh at children. You doing one-up-manship on a child is not humour. It’s a feeble attempt to meet your own needs at the child’s expense. It’s belittling, demeaning, detrimental and down right dishonourable.

¬ Disengaged parent – aka emotionally unavailable & uninvolved. The workaholic seldom around. (Or the parent in grief). Neglectful and fails to respond to their child’s needs beyond the basics of shelter, food, and clothing. Or the workaholic with little or no discipline, the strict or rigid discipline, withdrawing affection and attention. Shamers. Never good enough. Over or under achiever child.

¬ High expectations parent – strict and rigid. You’re never good enough. They’ll always move the goal posts and you’ll never meet their unrealistic expectations. They’ll oftentimes create the child prodigy living out the parent’s unfulfilled life.

¬ Codependent parent – needy, guilt trip & leaky parenting. Unconscious. No boundaries. Failure to help the child move through milestones into adolescence and true adulthood. Children enmeshed in parent codependency.

¬ Parents create the problem – it’s very sad to see. Unconscious parents get it wrong, miss cues and create anxiety and problems. Unconscious parenting casts a long shadow over a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. It’s the root cause of all reactive attachment disorders & next level syndromes > such as adhd, neuro, gender, tourettes, eating disorders, bed wetting (↓EC) etc. The child attempts to explain but is railroaded, silenced, unheard & misunderstood. Behaviours and beliefs skewed & off kilter. The children bears the brunt of the unconscious family. Oh dear.

¬ External diagnosis parents – it’s not me, it’s him. Unconscious parents trot off to the Dr for all sorts of complaints and behaviours. The bottom line is twofold: all problems come from the family of origin and unconscious parents don’t look at themselves! They don’t know they don’t know – or they don’t want to know. They don’t change or grow. They are the problem. And they’ll usually have 1x child as the ‘identified patient’. Unconscious parenting 101, begins in infancy.

→ Failure to meet a child’s needs leads to deficit, loss, rage, emotional hunger, and shame, bullying and violence. (most extreme is narcissism).

02. Tantrum

Aka frustration! Aka little person is trying to get the message through to the big person who’s missing the mark. It’s that friggin simple. Dismissing a child’s expression of emotions as just a ‘tantrum’ is dishonourable invalidation. Same with ‘use your words’. Or ‘you just take things the wrong way.’ Cringe. Invalidation! It’s the mothers failure to have read and dealt with the situation in the first place – tune in failure & missed cues – well intentioned or not. Asking the child to explain their emotions during or after the event is just plain unconsciousness and causes another level of frustration for the child. This is just a superficial tactic that bypasses the real issue: unconscious parents & unmet needs. It’s the absence of Emotional Intelligence (EQ). All of it. Are you listening? Good. Stay with me. This is a dose of tough loving, straight talking, Mumma Bear.

There’s too much fake and fake positive and contrived and excuses and goldfish and thin-skinned cupcake and all manner of bullshit out there. Enough! Ignorance is no excuse to damage children. There’s plenty of unlearning to do!

Pro tip:

→ Emotions always precede thoughts and actions. Read that again. Emotions first.

Here’s the underpinnings of a ‘tantrum/meltdown’ > unmet need.

• ‘You’re not listening’
• ‘You’ve missed my cues’
• ‘You’re late’
• ‘You don’t understand’
• ‘You haven’t met my need’
• ‘I’m not heard or understood’
• ‘You’re invalidating me’
• ‘I need to do/learn/discover/assert/xyz
• please leave me to do/learn it/discover it
• I need to see, hear, feel, taste and do
• Allow me
• Help me!

→ There is always a valid reason a child is expressing emotions whether you know it or not. Whether you like it or not.

Children do not have the words! Nor should they have to! Body language is the human language – Cues. Same with intonation and symbols. Words are 7% of communication. Most adults fail ‘Identify Feelings’ class miserably. So quit expecting little people to do it! They don’t have the vocabulary or the maturity. Bottom line is: little people shouldn’t have to say a word! Conscious people can pick what you don’t say. Same with conscious Mothers and their children. With accuracy – not unconscious versions. Genuine Emotional Intelligence is both unspoken & spoken. It’s a Knowing. You know how people say they can read a room? So too you should be able read your children. The fact most cannot is indicative of the damage done in this paradigm. Children with in-tune Mothers do not have ‘tantrums’. They don’t need to. Resilience is a natural bi-product of EQ. It’s an internal layering and developing process learned throughout a healthy childhood with needs met. It’s not an external class. Children of conscious Mothers are well adjusted in the epitome of good health. Know better, do better. The end.

→ Beware: the ‘passive & resilient’ unconscious, cringe-worthy bullshit. This patriarchal system just loves to tell Women & Children to keep putting up with unconscious & wounded wankers. Keep playing nice & small. Puke.

Babies exhibit their needs and wants through body language and cues during their preverbal stage and of course throughout life. They truly are born brilliant. It’s the adults around them that are ‘stuffer-uppers’ and cause the problems. How anyone can fuck up eating and peeing in children is astounding. Kids with ‘textural issues’ who only eat pizza and teenagers who pee beds and don’t flush the toilet. Wow. The lack of hygiene and respect in this day and age is just revolting. It’s indicative of the level of global wounded Feminine. The epitome of unconsciousness. If your kid is pulling knives on you, threatening other children, can’t cope, shits on other kids, full of contrived & defective behaviour’s, then you’ve failed!   

Youngsters cannot express their emotions through vocabulary. Nor should they have to. It’s an unrealistic expectation, especially under the age of 8. That’s an unconscious detri-mental practice. To have to veer off emotions (how I feel) into the mental realm of words (without vocabulary) is invalidation of the emotions! But the big people fail to understand, realise or own the fact that they caused the frustration in the first place. They missed all of ‘little people’ communication & cues PRIOR to and leading up to the expression of frustration.

→ They’re not giving you a hard time. They’re having a hard time! Dealing with deaf-n-dumb adults = you! Big things for little people.

So don’t you dare add insult to injury with a ‘timeout’! Or indifference. How fucking rude and cruel. You need a wake up call.

03. Timeout

Aka insult. Aka punishment (the ‘naughty’ step). Aka blaming and shaming. Aka abandonment. Aka conditional love – the underpinnings of fickle & fair weather friend dynamic. You see it in the schoolyard all the time – ‘if you don’t do this, I won’t be your friend.’ Little girls and the bitch factor. Yes, they get it from you. Aka big person lacks the intelligence, eyes, ears and skills. Aka big person has no Emotional Intelligence (EQ). Aka unmet needs and conditional love based on ‘good behaviour’.

→ Timeout destroys trust – in self and others. Self-soothing and separation is misguided, age inappropriate, dangerous, detrimental and a patriarchal, anti-mothering construct. Self soothing is not soothing – it’s neglect and shut down. No child on Earth should be expected to do this. It is a major underpinning of fear, confusion, anxiety and depression.

Same with walking away from toddlers and leaving them to ‘work things out’ – concepts and situations that are above age development. There’s a reel of a father who leaves a toddler at a series of ropes expecting him to work through them. Ridiculous, unconscious, fear-based, clueless and wrong.

Babies and toddlers should never be left with dads. No matter how great your hubby is, he’s still a man. My hubby is a fantastic dad but he still knows he cannot do what I do. In the early days, my baby never left my side. Just like monkeys, our babies are mother-huggers.

Timeout is the worst thing to do to a child. They’re calling out for understanding and help. They’ve taken to yelling at you because you’re not listening. Good on them! The human spirit truly is phenomenal.

→ Innate and indignation go hand in hand.

Chronic timeout breaks spirit

Timeout causes anxiety and then shut-down in children. It’s confusing and cruel. Timeout away from tlc, help, cope and hope is a horrible place to be. Chronic experience of criticism, ridicule, ‘tantrum’ + timeout’ creates distress and destroys self Worth. Read that again. And again. You’re unlearning.

04. Mothering has Always been a Free + Wise Enterprise. 

Who turned into a monetized, separated, isolated, anxious and depressed experience? The global wounded Feminine have been crippled Mothers, generation after generation, in all manner of dysfunction and dis-ease instead of in the epitome of health and Wisdom. Mothers have been left in the hands of males, left stranded, Motherless, shamed and blamed, isolated and exhausted, riddled with hardship, experiments, male societal controls, conditioning, convents and heartache. Just go back 100 years ago, let alone 2000. What a mess.

Pro tips:

• Go tribal, ancient
• Babies are born brilliant
• children do not need training, their mother’s do
• Stop – And Listen – to children
• Assertiveness begins age 2 – it’s essential learning ground
• Ask yourself why and how you’re saying ‘no’ 
• Assess your own triggers, controls and defence mechanisms
• Hone your time management – child friendly style!
• Be fucking gentle with your little Guest of Honour! 
• They’re new in the world! Allow them space, time and joy to discover it.
• Be mindful: your ‘teaching’ can interrupt what they’re learning
• Address and curb your own fears
• Are you ‘careful’ (fear based) or ‘capable’ (competent)
• It’s rude to interrupt someone when they’re concentrating
• They don’t have your conditioning! Quit passing it on
• Throw the text books away – they’re so last century leave them there

→ Most importantly – your child is here to make you own the unresolved parts of yourself that you don’t own! They’re here to teach you too. Yep.

They’re here to Teach you just as much you’re here to guide them. That’s profound. In the therapeutic world it’s called Transactional Analysis in family systems. In the Astrology world, it’s called a Composite Chart which gives insights into the dynamics + relationships between us all → it’s the ‘who + what’ you bring into your life to play out your stuff. Fascinating + accurate.

Your ‘teaching’ can interrupt their learning

Explain your ‘no’. Simple. Clean out your cupboards. If you have highly toxic shit in them get rid of them. My baby opened the cupboard under the kitchen sink. My products are Earth friendly + eco. He picked up the detergent. I let him smell it. Tip it on his hands and feel it. I explained what it was for. I allowed him a lick. His face screwed up. Yuk. I explained it was for dishes only and would make him sick if he drank it. I suggested he do the dishes. There were squeals of delight as he washed the dishes repeatedly standing at sink the in his high chair, bubbles galore, for the next half hour. Let them do. He never felt the need to open that cupboard again, except to do the dishes. He loved mixing in butter, mint and tea leaves too. Fun! Don’t deny their learning or experiences. Because of clocks or because it’s inconvenient to you. Give time and joy instead of locks and ‘no’. Come on you lot. You have tattoos stating ‘Be Kind’. Start with children!

05. ‘A baby’s cry is precisely as serious as it sounds’ ¬ Jean Liedloff.

Stop ignoring their cry!! Stop drowning out their cry. Stop leaving them to cry! Wake up! It’s infuriating watching unconscious mothers shopping with their babies/toddlers screaming their heads off. Wake up! And attend to their needs!

→ Your failure to meet the mental, physical, and emotional needs of your child shows the level of your own mental, physical, and emotional level – aka damage and unconsciousness. You cannot give what you do not possess. But you can learn it!

Make your Mothering go-to as tribal and Nature based as possible. Not a separate room with ‘tantrum’ + ‘timeout’. Ignoring a child’s cry is neglectful. It goes against every fibre of Mother-infant being. Mother’s are hard wired to kill for their babies. It’s inherent. Mothers who don’t are damaged goods.

Pro tips:

For the first 5 months out and about, I used a sling that laid bub down across my belly. Baby cannot hold himself upright. It’s not good to have their hips/legs spread apart of pressure on groin. Out and about in noise and bright light/s is over stimulating and can lead to sensory overload = overwhelm. Being in sling is nice, warm, safe and covered when needed. Baby can have secret booby and sleep in there by adjusting the straps. You’re hands free. Remember: baby needs 1 layer more than us when out and about.

→ Sensory Development. Everything goes in the mouth! That’s how babies suss everything out. They will not choke. From olives to seed pods, from avocado to dirt, from metal to plastic, rough to smooth, tasty to bland. Their little hands and mouths are very busy working everything out. It’s your job to ‘hazard control’ of course but let them do what they must. Don’t deprive them. Don’t scold or snatch. Don’t fear monger them.

→ Don’t introduce a dummy. (Also called a pacifier). Since the dawn of time, babies have not had nor needed one. They interrupt breast feeding and affect the formation of the teeth. Breast feeding is a natural suckle. A dummy changes suckle into suction, the same required for formula in a bottle. They create drooling and over time teeth don’t meet correctly.

→ Mother’s milk. Is the best. The end. Don’t dream feed or do formula top ups. This is a male reversal. Absolute bullshit. Will alter/diminish your supply. Your baby and your boobs are intrinsically connected. You are your baby’s pacifier. Your baby will suckle more during teething, temperatures and milestones. Breast fed babies are content babies with in-tune Mothers. (I did it for 3 years).

→ Develop sign language: I used sign language when my baby was pre-verbal. At first I bought a dvd and played on the tv to learn initially. Then I got creative and developed our own. I kept it simple. Hand on face, head to side = sleep. Rub tummy, fingers to lips = food/hungry. Pat groin = toilet. Steering wheel = car. Thumbs up = ok/good. Simple but effective. You’ll be amazed at how your baby teaches you and how much you’ll tune in. Body language is everything after all.

→ Never ever call your baby stinky. I’ve heard mothers call their babies stinky in a tone meaning ‘bad’. Bodily functions are not bad. Poo is not bad. A soiled nappy is not bad. If you don’t like it – you learn elimination communication for babies. In truth, babies do not like soiling themselves. Let them toilet outside. My boy peed on every bush and tree in our garden. And poo took 3x weeks, inside and out. With a potty and not. Natures way always wins the day.

→ Avoid the shopping mall parent room! Ugh. What a nightmare. Bright lights, smells, radio blaring, snotty kids! Detergent smells. Unkempt. Other people’s mess. Not the clean, peaceful, relaxing place to breastfeed or tend to baby. Use it if you must but I preferred to head outside, use the pram or my car.

→ Avoid shaking & swaddling. Who wants to be trussed up like a thanksgiving turkey completely immobilized? No thanks. Allow babies to move! Snuggle and wrap them by all means but too much is too much. And quit shaking the baby! Sway not shake. Shaking is not only stimulating (and annoying), it turns tummy milk into a milkshake = vomit.

¬ Tags. Have you ever had a clothing tag rub you the wrong way? Itchy and scratchy with a sore red mark? Only to cut it off and have the jagged edges still rub? Even the soft one’s are annoying. (Same with rough fabrics). And these days they’re tags on roids with 3-in-1, extra long and OTT. Same with baby clothing. A baby cannot tell you, but they’ll be irritable and unsettled.

→ Abort mission. Once your baby displays ‘fed up’ and begins to fuss, cry and escalate, stop what you’re doing and head to the car. Tend to baby and settle her. Head home. And reschedule. This is empathy! This is where it begins – meeting your baby’s needs! Not the opposite: ignoring your hysterical child! That’s just downright indifference, neglect and apathy. Unmet needs 101.

→ Ignore your toddler at your peril. Seriously, your child will lose hope, faith and trust in you, feel invalidated, unheard and misunderstood, nursing unmet needs and confusion. Get over yourself!

→ Never threaten to leave. Abandonment or the threat of it is frightening and scary. Get your own time management sorted! Either allow plenty of time or catch the next train. Ask yourself why you’re so busy? Why is this inconvenient to me? Every toddler in the world needs to lie on the floor in the shopping mall or own the platform or on the street. It’s all about perspective!

→ Never, ever ignore upset. Every emotion is valid!! Read that again. Every emotion is valid. Whether you know it or not, like it or not. Just because you don’t understand is no excuse. Every child must be heard and understood, validated and have their needs met.

→ Cues. Every baby and toddler gives ‘cues’. Body language before a grizzle. If you don’t tune in, you won’t read the cues because you miss the cues. Miss those cues, the baby will give you an alarm bell – a cry! A cry means ‘I need you and you’re late.’ Hysterical means neglect and fear. You’ve failed. A conscious Mother knows what her child needs

→ Quit your passive/aggressive bullshit. And don’t allow others to do it. I knew a woman who’s husband would ignore the screaming baby in the backseat and turn the radio up. Hideous and detrimental! And he hits the kids too. And yes, their 3 kids wet the bed and have issues.

→ Be vigilant: Stranger danger & interference. I travelled the world as a single woman. And I travelled again as a mother. Wow! I could not believe the amount of people, strangers and acquaintances, who over stepped my Mother-infant line and interfered. The sheer fucking audacity of it. From men and women alike who scorned at my breastfeeding, mimicked and belittled my sons emotions and another who told my child off for taking a chocolate at the table. One old woman blatantly grabbed my toddler by the hand and dragged him down the steps in front of us. To my absolute shock and horror. My hubby and I were clapping our little one up and down 3 steps. He had the biggest grin on his face as he mastered those 3 steps. No hazard, no danger. Just joy. Unbelievable! Yes, I told her off. They have no right. The damage is done. The moment ruined. The moment repaired by me. Advocating for my child. Keep your wits about you and put them in their place. How dare they.

→ Children have no concept of the space time continuum under age 8! They’re not governed by clocks or inconvenience. You are. They operate in the NOW. In the present. Discovering the world around them with their newfound hands and feet. You have a thing or two to learn from them. 

→ Assertiveness. Activation of the Will. Age 2 is the very first phase of assertiveness. And discovering hands and feet and mobility and the world. Magic!

How many of you sit at your desk with a ‘live in the moment’ and ‘seize the day’ mantra yet punish your child for jumping in puddles or lying down in the street/shopping mall to see what they can see. How many unconscious mothers continue to shop with a baby/toddler screaming with complete indifference! (cringe!) Or those who threaten their toddlers will be left there and walk away because it’s ‘time to go’. You’ve got it all ass about face. Operating this way is an indication of zero skill set. Your parents did it to you. You repeat the cycle – same-same-but-different. It’s deeply ingrained.

Don’t shut down. Don’t bounce. Don’t take offense. Keep your indignation in check. This is not a personal affront, remember. This is an essential healing act. This shit has to stop. We cannot keep these cycles going. They are the underpinnings of maladaptive behaviours and mental ill health. They become the victim or the bully, the narcissist or the little professor. They grow into damaged children in adult bodies parenting on repeat. They spend many years suffering from and/or repairing from their childhoods. Substance abuse, alcoholism, work-aholic and all the ‘isms’. Very sad.

Own it. Own the fact you don’t know you don’t know. It’s a friggin Virtue. Accountability and Self correcting rocks! It’s good role modelling. Own up. Your children know you make mistakes. We can see you making mistakes. Quit this unconscious indignation. If your child is bedwetting at age 12, you’ve fucked up their elimation communication from infancy. Own it. Don’t ghost us who know what we’re doing. Wake up, fess up and learn from us! Unconsciousness is not a parenting style! And you’ll find we’re happy to help – and this is how positive change comes about.

Conclusion

Old Souls teach and guide young souls. 

That’s a Universal given. A Gift that is sadly lost and forgotten in this day and age and one that must return. There is nothing more precious than a child and childhood. So throw the books away and learn from us Wise ones with happy, healthy, peaceful, intelligent, well adjusted children. Learn from us conscious Mothers instead of arguing, ghosting, competing or xyz. Justifying unconscious mothering as a parenting style is BS. The proof is in your pudding. All part of your Soul Evolution together within your Soul Pod. 

→ Don’t expect Wise ones to stoop down to unconscious levels. That’s a disservice to us all.

→ The Remedy for this comes from Teaching Mammalian Clan Knowledge. It’s our response-ability to tip the scales back into genuine conscious Mothering for the masses. Imagine what we’ll achieve then!

→ Key takeaways: Irrespective of our uniqueness, our Circle of Needs are the same. (not to be confused with the male version of maslow).

1. Unconditional love vs conditional
2. Self containment vs disorders
3. Co-sleep vs cot death
4. Met Needs vs tantrum
5. Terrific Twos vs terrible
6. TLC vs timeout
7. Nurturing vs hitting

‘No matter your affinity with children, until you birth them, there’s a whole realm you know nothing about’ ¬ Amanda JT.

We have a way to go to fully Deprogram, Recover and Empower from patriarchy. And create the safe, Wise and Free Mothering spaces with support and Rejuvenation we once had, so we can shift and uplift back into the Woman’s Domain with Knowledge, Wisdom and genuine Consciousness again – within our lifetime. Stay tuned – fantastic things are coming! It’s Time. 

the Book List:

• the Continuum Concept by Jean Leidloff
• the Mask of Motherhood by Susan Maushart
• the Dance of Deception by Harriet Lerner

xx Amanda

Resources

→ I have a really easy resource to figure that out, which you can find at MA/emp.guide

→ You can read more on my Women’s Health Counselling with related blog post here

→ Enroll in my mini course B99, Boundaries for Women here

→ Join my (annual) Woman-lore Program wait list here

Want to uplevel with community support plus plenty of tools and techniques to make it easy? Join my facebook group – you’ll learn how to spot a mindset block a mile away, and know exactly how to offload it.

My Gift to You