A Practical Guide to Protect your Inner Child

January 18, 2023

Oh I just love anything to do with children and the magic of little people world. The land of discovery and make believe is a truly wondrous place and vital for every child.

‘Believe in the faeries who make dreams come true. Believe in the wonder of the stars and the moon. Believe in the magic from the faeries above, they dance on the flowers and sing songs of love. And if you just believe and always stay true, the faeries will be there to watch over you’. – Unknown.

01. Beware the Muggles!

The non-magic folk who scoff, belittle, punish, ridicule and ruin this vital, formative developmental stage of every child’s inner world and life. Be their gate keeper at all costs.

The first five years has power to sadden or illuminate a child’s life forever.

Now I’d like to share a little something with you. It’s for everyone really but especially for those of you with broken wings. It’ll help you reconnect with and protect your inner child. Don’t scoff. Don’t mock. Don’t roll your eyes. This is not dippy hippy stuff. This is a starting place. Because most people in the world today are damaged children in adult bodies. Read that again. None in true adulthood, each walking around with issues, becoming parents, and passing shit on generation after generation. And yes, whilst it’s all part and parcel of Lessons and Karma, essential for our evolutionary process, the last 2 millennia has damaged humanity beyond belief. However, it’s time to progress, shift and uplift out of this paradigm and into the next. Yay!

This is for the kids in the system. In poverty. In abuse/s and unconsciousness. This is for precious children in foster homes. This is for children without Mothers. This is just a beginning place. A magic place. Your secret place. That no-one can touch or damage.

Note: as with all good things worth doing, it will take some time. It requires daily practice. And then it becomes automatic. Imagination is everything. So too is the Power of your Mind.

Pro tip:

This is just a Guide. Read it and make it your own. Enjoy it. Believe in magic and magic will always find you. Seriously, when you do the work, the who and what you attract in your life shifts too. There’s nothing woo-woo about it. When you know better, you do better, you want better, you attract better. It simply boils down to this: it’s your Soul/sole response-ability to shift out of unconscious, dysfunctional, dis-ease behaviours into conscious, functional, dis-ease free behaviours. It’s always your choice. Do the work and reap the rewards.

I hear it all the time: I want a better life/relationship/car/house/bank account/fill-in-the-blank. If you want an exceptional life, do the exceptional inner work to get there. Your inner riches become your outer riches, to the moon and back.

02. The Power of Visualisation

This exercise is all about caring for your Inner Child. It’s a small thing you can do for yourself that is part and parcel with Self Honour. No matter what, you must restore your own sense of honour in life. So much is taken away from us in this sick society. A dysfunctional society hell bent on normalising the abnormal. A wise person once said to me ‘always keep something in your left hand’’. (Make a soft fist and place it against your stomach). Meaning always keep your inner magic place to yourself, for yourself. There’s a pure and precious part of your Soul that is to be left that way – pure, intact and guarded by you.

This exercise is especially important for those of you living with abandonment or estrangement. Those of you without parents, who had abusive parents, disengaged parents, well-meaning but clueless parents and all of the above. It is essential to assign blame where it belongs and then focus on the business of taking care of you. It’s vital you become your own ideal, healthy, functional, loving, parent.

♦ Estrangement is Freedom. Dysfunctional parents will never parent you properly and have a hard time owning their shit, if ever. Drop the expectation and move on. Speaking the truth is not negative! Every dog must have his/her day. At some point they need to hear the impact they’ve had on you whether they like it or not. There’s no need to point fingers or be nasty about it. Write a letter or an email. Be truthful. Understand they’re doing whatever they can. Dysfunction travels from one generation to the next – same, same but different. The best revenge is tip top health and a successful life. And that’s another blog.

As with all Soulful, inner and therapeutic work, it’s essential to carve out an hour of prime time for yourself. Mute the phone and any other distractions. 

 ps. I write in the feminine for ease because my work is for you and the wounded feminine.

03. The state of your Inner Child

No matter what has brought you here today or your life experiences, each and every one of us has an inner child in need of tender, loving, care (TLC). I know when I began this work, my little Amanda was afraid and alone and at first, I could not bear to be close to her. That soon changed with this daily exercise and what a difference it made for me in my life. So I ask you to take a moment to contemplate the state of your inner child. Alone. Traumatised. Afraid. Abandonned. Hyper vigilant. Hungry. Homeless. Fearfull. Sad. Grief striken. In survival mode. Denial. Misheard. Misunderstood. Invalidated. Ridiculed. Criticised. Which state are they in? Pause and take a moment. Get real with yourself.

I know lot’s of adults, working adults, in all manner of ‘professions’ wearing a happy mask in complete inner turmoil and dysfunction. Making a right royal mess of their children. Who are working with our children. Traumatised children. Vulnerable children. (Cringe). Who need to pause and begin their own healing process! Because damaged children grow into damaged children in adult bodies. And damaged adults damage children. And so the cycle repeats. Here’s a nugget to think about: just because you’re an adult doesn’t mean you know best! Nugget number 2: Children are our Guests of Honour and are to be treated as such.

Please note this exercise is great for all children. Each and every one of us has had a childhood. How was yours?

04. Self-containment

Is a very powerful and essential thing! Do it for yourself at all costs. Your feelings are valid. All of them. This is the underpinning of resilience also. I’m fed up with this BS at the moment, especially in schools. Resilience is not an external thing. It’s an internal layering and developing process over time during your childhood. It’s called being cared for and respected. It’s simply Nature AND Nurture. It’s all ass about face in this patriarchal society. There’s some major unlearning to do here. You’ll find more on this in my Academy and blogs.

Self containment is a Soul-full inner process. Nature based is always best. She restores your senses and sensibilities like nothing else. Get off social media. Get away from fucked up and fake. Get away from junk food and botox. Genuine self containment is a very powerful thing. It’s easy to attain. You’ll find a mini course on it in the eSchool.

05. Out-rage-ous

If there’s one thing I’ll help you do, it’s to quit self-harming. This manifests in different ways for you all, from cutting, eating disorders to substance abuse, and much more. But the underpinnings are the same. Unmet needs! Pain. Fear. Anxiety. Injustice. The list goes on. Each and every one of us as children will shift and manoeuvre and develop coping skills, faulty or not. As children we grasp at straws. Because we don’t have the maturity or ability to articulate, identify feelings or protect ourselves from big people etc. The system is fundamentally flawed and failing. Same with parents, well-meaning or not. They can be kind providers but clueless about so much else.

You will spend time recovering from your childhood. Do yourself a favour – make it out-rage, not in-rage. Learn to turn your anger into the motivational force it is – the warrior/ess code. Don’t ever let the bastards get you down. Keep in mind hurt people hurt people. Your shit is your own. Own it. You have no right to harm others. There are plenty of courses and avenues in this day and age. Ultimately, you owe it to yourself to VIP your life and kick ass. It’s women like us that once fully healed, will change the world. We’re a formidable force to be reckoned with. Don’t shrink to those who don’t know or understand. You can’t read this stuff from books. Folks who’ve never been through it or don’t have children, don’t understand it. Onwards and upwards sistar. Change and help is here.

Begin

In a comfortable position. Eyes closed. Visualise a gargantuan wall that spans the horizon, high and mighty. An ancient wooden wall, carved and engraved with symbols, hieroglyphs, planets, flowers and all things beautiful and awe inspiring from the Natural World and beyond. Pan across it and admire it with your minds eye.

Then notice a small secret door down on the left-hand side. Open it and enter to find a secret garden. One so splendid and magnificent. An enormous, endless, English country, style garden. Teaming with birds and butterflies, herbs and spices, food plants, fruit trees and statues. And as you walk through you come to a clearing and find your favourite animal lying down, relaxing, waiting for you. I found my Mumma Jaguar lying down licking her powerful paws, preening as all cats do. She is my protector. She is my safe place. I snuggle into her warm, soft, fluffy belly and lay down. This is the place where I rest and recover. The safe place where I restore my senses and sensibilities. This is my Rivendell.

My mission now is to call to my inner child. She’s my duty of care. She knows this place on a Soul level. No matter where I am in the physical world, when all is lost, confusing, exhausting, we can both come here.

At first, I see my little Amanda in the distance. (Visualise yourself as a child). We acknowledge each other. She’s been here a while without me. She’s barefoot in a little white and floral dress. Her hair is shoulder length, mousy brown, natural and wild. Her hazel eyes wide and glowing despite the loneliness (fill in the blank with your own feelings). She’s a Nature Spirit after all.

I greet her. I tell her I’ve finally arrived. This may take some time but I’ll always be here for you now. Stay with jaguar until I’m fully ready to hold you and protect you and play with you. For now all I can muster is to wink at you and blow you a kiss. I promise to do this daily. And grow.

For now, I’ll sit and admire you. Your eyelashes. Your freckles. Your mud pies. Your magic childlike qualities. Your curiosity and inquisitiveness. Your imagination, playfulness, and innocence. Your generosity and integrity. Your love and acceptance. Your excitement and wonder and laughter. Your antics that make me belly laugh and have the giggles. You remind me to live in the moment, cloud bust, and play. Or just sit. And concentrate, with the important business of making mud pies or learning about the world around you/me. To jump in puddles or dance in the rain. You remind me to put a smile on my dial. That no matter what, I am worthy of love and will get through this. And I’m going to do this every day. Little by little. Baby steps. Until we can hold hands. Until the day we can hug. Until the day I can hold you and tell you I love you, you special little girl. Until the day I remember that even super woman has a little girl within. Because together, we’re capable of great things.

And so, the next part of our journey: you must spend a week in my pocket. Or my purse. You are tiny and invisible to others. You come and hang with me during the day but return here every night. You can wave. You can poke your tongue out. You must poke your tongue to the undesirables. All children and animals are the best barometers with the eyes to see what most do not. Keep it always. It keeps us both in good stead.

Please know you are safe. And worthy. And amazing. And loved. When you doubt it, go to jaguar. Or stay in my pocket. When you need to cry or grieve. Go to jaguar. During introspection. Reflecting. Forgiving.

Go to jaguar. And call to me. I’ll find a time and a place to come here and be with you. I’ll make a time and place to be here. To do what we must to recover. Because I/we deserve to live a happy, fulfilling and rewarding life. We truly can achieve many, many, great things.

I love you little one.

Key takeaways:

  • you don’t get the family you want, you get the family you need
  • you choose them on Soul level for your chosen life assignment & lessons
  • never underestimate the Power of Visualisation & Self-compassion

‘Control your own destiny or someone else will’ ¬ Jack Welch

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