Origins of Low Emotional Intelligence (EQ)

Today’s blog is all about the ultimate Love Language of them all – EQ. We all need it but most do not have it. The set ups and get ups are wide and varied but the culprit is patriarchy. Facts are facts. When the paradigm on Earth has waged unremitting war on the Feminine in their quest for control and greed, over the last 2 millennia, is it any wonder emotions are all f*ked up? 

They’ve burnt Women at the stake, raped Women and children en masse around the globe, enslaved the people, impoverished and brutalised humanity, with their lab rat mentality, hideous experiments, genocide, mass production and pollution. Their MO list is endless.

Is it any wonder belief systems, mindsets, gender, sexuality, biochemistry and emotions are all fucked up? Nope. Humanity is in turmoil. Dis-ease and violence cycles are rife with a grand mockery of Justice to boot. Well done patriarchy – what a grand old mess you’ve made. Thank the larger cycles at work, their time is over!

Welcome to unlearning!

There’s plenty of patriarchy to unlearn and so it shall be. It’s my Soul-gig, my Destiny, to help you Deprogram + Recover. It’s been my life long quest re-searching the how and why this all came to be and am simply horrified at the last 2 millennia and the sinister MO’s of patriarchy. What they’ve done to humanity is abhorrent and morally bankrupt. We have a way to go to genuinely Deprogram + Recover but it will be done in our lifetime. In the meantime I’ll keep this simple so you can gain understanding, in-sight and awareness into your own emotions and how to safeguard yourself when surrounded by folks with zero to low EQ. Once you Know better, you do better, you attract better. It’s that simple. Do it for yourself and the next generations. We cannot continue as we are!

→ Do you know why babies/toddlers put everything in their mouth? It’s vital for their sensory development to figure out what everything feels and tastes like. Now you do.

→ Do you know that age 2 is Activation of the Will? The very first beginnings of Assertiveness, just for starters? The very first stage of ‘I do’ learning, brand new in the World? Now you do.

→ Do you know that the Terrific Two’s is a Vital developmental stage, activated by planet Mars and it’s 2yr cycle? And that unconscious parenting creates the terrible two’s – the very underpinnings of adhd, bullying and domestic violence? Now you do.

Heads up:

This blog is not a character assassination exercise! Far from it. It’s a wake up call. Our nearest and dearest have their hearts in the right place! But they’ve been messed up in this paradigm too. It’s generational, individual and collective. The damage is plain to see. Keep in mind the conscious – unconscious spectrum.

The 3 types of humans: from big, awake, savvy hearts and minds to those with hearts and minds 3 sizes too small. We’re all in this together. Lessons and Karma. And the Old-Soul-role to teach and guide the masses throughout the Ages. That’s why we’re here on Earth School! 

How cool would it be to have our children know their own Archetypes, personality types + talents again. Keep an eye out for my Earth Children Course currently in creation. Yes this wondrous Knowledge must return to mainstream so we can pave a better way back into genuine Conscious Living again.  Think Rivendell – we have a way to go!

The good thing is we live in significant times. We’re in a major transitional time. Out of the old male paradigm and into the new Era. Thank goodness it’s time to offload the unconscious, dysfunctional shit and upgrade! It’s so last century Sistar leave it there.

There are all sorts of hangover contributors for the societal zero-low EQ still in operation today. Here are some major factors:

• Genital cutting – aka circumcision + fgm = agony, terror and ptsd just for starters!
• Hideous separation techniques – aka controlled crying + regimented feeding
• Nursery – separation from Mother – aka our Whole Support System
• Destruction of the Woman’s Domain and the Mother-Daughter Knowledge base
• The wounded parent cycle – unconscious, wounded children in adult bodies on repeat
• Ob + Gyn + Early Childhood male theories still on repeat

Males got their grubby hands on us 800 years ago and have since had the audacity to tell us how to Birth and Mother with disastrous consequences. Motherhood misinformation abounds. Shake head. Cringe. There’s major unlearning to be done here. The Teachings of which I share in my Woman-lore Program. As all conscious Women know, males are not Mothers. The end. 

→ Did you know since the Dawn of Time, children have always in-herited their Mother-line, Mother tongue and Mother-name aka Maiden name? Now you do. So why are you giving your babies your in-laws name? It’s a patriarchal reversal, that dishonours you. Males have an orgasm, we do the rest.

01. EQ is Vital for Wellbeing + Decision Making

Each and every one of is the sum total of our past experiences. There is no separation of Mind and Emotions. Soul + Mind + Body + Emotions + Senses = Intrinsically and intricately linked. Functional or faulty. All part of your Governance system. Your lens on life – your perspective. Your Soul calibre and your Chosen Life Assignment.

02. Here’s How it Works – Remarkable!

We don’t have a Soul – we ARE a Soul. Each of us are a Soul having Earth Walks – our chosen life assignments and experiences here on planet Earth each lifetime to evolve the Soul. We live every human experience possible in every pocket of the Planet to evolve and wake up. Our Soul has a purpose – evolution, both individually and collectively. Our Soul needs a vehicle – the Body, the barometer of the Soul.

The Soul needs a windscreen, a lens on life, our perceptions and per-spectacles on life – the Eyes – the windows of the Soul. Our Soul needs a GPS – the Mind, thoughts, perceptions, ideas, imagination + inspiration – the governance system of our physiology, biology + biochemistry. The extension of our brain is our whole nervous system.

Our Soul needs barometers – Emotions and Senses, in order to navigate our personal and physical environment. EQ is the governance system of our core Values, empathy, connection, intimacy, opportunity and our way forward. Our Soul needs Expression and a Voice – our timbre, resonance, song and story.

We haven’t touched on Chakras yet. Or the connection between Soul + Earth Knowledge – the Unified Web of Life. (my Woman-lore Program – Advanced level)

Each Earth Walk polishes a new facet of your Diamond-Soul. It’s our mission over lifetimes to shift from unconscious, dysfunctional, dis-ease behaviours into conscious, functional, dis-ease free behaviours. New/young/unconscious Souls don’t know this yet. Brinkers have an inkling. And the Conscious know it, live + breathe it. The problem is, we’re stuck with the old school, unconscious systems and people keeping it firmly in place. The tail is wagging the dog.

Being awake on this ship of fools is a curse, downright mind-numbing, tedious and detri-mental. Hence adhd and every other syndrome is rife. There’s nothing more stifling than being a child wide awake with parents + society fast asleep. Hold tight – change is coming!

Key takeaways

¬ Your Mindset and Belief Systems – faulty or fabulous?

Q. Where are you on the unconscious-conscious (u-c) spectrum?

A. The proof is in the pudding >> yours + your children. Are you healthy and functional or not?

Honest inventory of Self = ↑EQ. When you know better you do better, you get better, you want better and only then, you attract better.

¬ Your Body Messages – are you listening? The emotion of Anger is the lid over Pain – stored in the Liver. Antagonised by alcohol. Unresolved emotions resurface until resolved. Unprocessed Emotions are stored in the Bowel. Grief and Joy are stored in the Lungs. Medical Astrology is above and beyond orthodox 6 minute medicine.

¬ No one owns land except Mother Earth Herself. She most certainly does not need our management!

¬ This paradigm has destroyed, desecrated, dismantled, disconnected and de-part-mentalised Life and Soul. The only peeps busy pulling all things apart fail to see how All things fit together.

¬ We cannot experience all there is to experience in one lifetime. And damn straight when you’re ass in one lifetime you will pay it back in the next – Karma. The Eyes of Truth are always watching. The Akasha – the Cosmic Hall of Records. 

¬ The Global wounded Feminine will only heal once you Deprogram + Relearn our Magnificent Matriarchal Heritage again.

This is not the Human Condition, simply conditioned humans in patriarchy.

03. How to spot the MO of Low

• No ownership
• Deflection
• Invalidation
• Contempt 
• Shutdown 

¬ Lack of Ownership aka No accountability. Folks with no EQ will avoid, blame, squirm, lie, cheat, deny and veer off ownership of their behaviours, of causing you upset or hurt, until the cows come home. They lack self awareness and simply cannot see or own their shortcomings. They have the Dunning-Kruger Syndrome – they think they’re smarter than they are. This is common place at the moment > information age with a severe lack of Knowledge. Everyone’s an expert these days. NOT.

Another tell tale sign is the belligerent mindset and the low-level, nasty, shallow, ‘ghosting’ behaviour. They do not learn, grow or self correct and have every justification for their behaviour. They seek external causes, diagnosis, labels, and others rather than look in the mirror. They lack the ability to put themselves in others shoes. This behaviour is classic unconscious and maladaptive learned behaviour in childhood. These folks are the emotionally stunted, co-dependent types.

¬ Deflection aka manipulation, bypass, deviate, intentional diversion, passive aggressive and narcissistic  behaviour. They attack or blame you/others rather than accepting criticism or blame for their actions. When someone deflects, they are trying to feel less guilty, avoid natural consequences, and put the blame on you/others. The aim of deflecting is to avoid truth or criticism or ownership. It’s antagonistic, gaslighting and purposeful misdirection to send the focus anywhere away from Self.

¬ Invalidation aka denying, rejecting and dismissing feelings, leaving you unheard and misunderstood. Classic reactions are: ‘you just take things the wrong way’ or ‘you live in the past’ or ‘you’re too loud, stop shouting, swearing’ or you’re nuts/crazy’ or ‘you’re insulting/abusing me’. The opposite is true. And the character assassination is just another ploy to deflect and invalidate. They fail to see you will do anything to climb over their stonewalling to have your needs met. They know they’re escalating you. They retreat or walk away, you chase. Invalidation can also force you out of your feelings realm (subjective) into the mental realm (objective) trying to explain yourself – it’s a double invalidation whammy. Unconscious parents do it all the time to children with ‘tantrum’, timeout, therapeutic methods and ‘use your words’. Ugh. Cringe.

¬ Shutdown aka silent treatment, walking away, emotionally unavailable, punishing, compound effect (double whammy for you) victim/martyr mode, character assassination. Shutdown occurs due to stress or overload but in the case of low EQ it occurs because they don’t know how to handle emotions or your display of emotions. It’s also a form of checking out to avoid and provokes you to up the ante.

¬ The message underneath all of the above:

• I have zero-to-low EQ
• I lack the ability to accurately perceive emotions – mine + yours
• I lack the ability to hear, validate and honour your emotions
• I lack the skills and know-how to own, validate, apologise and resolve
• I lack the inner fortitude to learn, grow, self correct and evolve my EQ

A conscious Mother understands what her child does not say – sadly that Innate Gift is long gone and broken. It’s a vital layering and developing process over years, a Maternal Guidance that is Naturally and Innately embodied, Mother to child. One that was desecrated with the Witch mania.

04. The Problem with Policy Bound People

The next level of low EQ peeps can be found in establishments and departments. The 5 sensory, pc types normalising the abnormal, giving everyone the gag order. The fear based, limited mindsets. The micro managers, the thin skinned precious individuals who cannot handle honesty or truth telling who create a blanket ‘fix’ for everyone. Ugh. I bet you deal with them in schools and your workplace. They are the order of the day at the moment – the unconscious masses – dumbing society down to the point of ridiculous. It’s the common dysfunctional factor. You know the types.

The education department is a prime example. Holy hammer they’ve stifled hearts and minds for centuries. The dumbasses who dole out mind numbing instructions on overload to our children, just kills initiative. It’s plain to see everywhere! (Academia and Intelligence are not one and the same).

→ Are you Capable or careful? ‘Capable’ encourages and enhances instincts, initiative and a ‘can do’ belief system. ‘Careful’ comes from a fear based, limited mindset that kills initiative and instincts and creates all manner of dumbass (and frustration). Society and unconscious parenting is riddled with it.

How many times have you phoned an establishment pissed off about something (incompetence or being ripped off) only to have the low EQ idiot down the other end threatening to hang up because they cannot handle upset or swear words. Yep – low EQ. Police and Ambulance need training in TCI. The reality tv shows are cringe worthy. Whilst no-one has the right to go around abusing or assaulting others, emergency services must also train to understand upset people and their escalated behaviours and learn to help people de-escalate. Low EQ is commonplace. Families, professionals, institutions, tv shows, rich and poor. It’s very sad to see. As both a mum and a nurse, I’ve been astounded witnessing the paramedic or radiographer who small talk to children in shock and agony with broken bones. I’ve witnessed their assertive parents advocate for their child with a nice ‘just shut up and get on with it please’ message only to have them take offense. Their low EQ defensive behaviours kick in. Ridiculous.

→ Because most people are damaged children in adult bodies who study academia. They’re not in true adulthood. Mental realm vs Soul Knowledge = Consciousness. Emotional intelligence begins in infanthood, lying next to their Mother, not in another room. Babies are born brilliant. They don’t need ‘training’ – they’re mothers do. And The Terrific Two’s must be taught again. It’s a Vital Developmental Stage, long misunderstood and thwarted in society. #Unlearning.

05. What to do for you

• be assertive and honour your emotions
• call them on it no matter what
• vent from different angles until the message gets through
• no-one has the right to trample your emotions
• no-one has the right to stifle or suppress your emotions
• drop the expectation – quit speaking to a brick wall
• see the difference in Awareness and/or Knowledge Base
• Leave, distance, minimise interaction – inlaws or others
• Seek help for you and yours – upskill
• Don’t put up with it. Leave.

¬ Left unchecked, over time, this will drain you and derail your relationships – it’s toxic and isolating. It’s tedious and mind numbing. Having a family member with low EQ is a painful exercise. Dealing with the great unconscious is a dead end. Seriously, they’ll take lifetimes to ‘get it’. Dropping the expectation and distance is your saving grace. No point flogging a dead horse as they say. 

¬ The difference in Knowledge base on the conscious – brinker – unconscious spectrum is astronomical and will always be fraught until the Old Souls lead the way again. In the meantime, never the twain shall meet. 

¬ Let go of the ‘family’ expectations and pressures. You do not have to suffer it. Unfortunately, unconscious family members and in-laws are problematic with low EQ – and for centuries we’ve all been forced to shut up and put up, with untold lies, excuses and justifications in abundance, to our detriment. Do not put up with this unconscious crap. Do what you must to honour and protect yourself. Your life is precious and short. Don’t waste it.

¬ Remember your in-laws are not of your Tribe. As Women we naturally go to our Mothers, aunts, sisters and besties, in our tribe. If the in-laws are not on your wavelength you do not have to tolerate it. Be kind. Do the ‘tour of duty’ on your terms and time frame. And if the mother in-law is a codependent, meddlesome pain in the neck with no boundaries – move! Distance is your saving grace. Do not suffer it. It gets worse over time and you’ll pay the price. It creates a wedge in your relationship. And there’s no way on Earth I’d give my child her name. Yikes. There are so many ways you can honour each other with names, but the Mother (You!) takes pride of place.

¬ Seek professional help to untangle your emotions. Be heard and understood and seek skills and strategies for you and yours. For children of unconscious parents it’s a bit tricky. You’re stuck until teenage years when you can call out for help or attend courses/sessions in person or online. Once you leave home seek help and upskill for yourself, your future relationships and your children. Every parent is responsible for damaging their children, well intentioned or not. Where they are on the brinker – unconscious spectrum will determine their level of ownership and growth ability. 

¬ Create a keyword – so you + yours can ID emotions and triggers as they begin. ‘Badger’ is a good word. A small, furry, feisty, powerful little creature. Emotions come and go but oftentimes you can feel them brooding. Giving you + yours the heads up can help put some skills or strategies in place to increase your EQ and lessen the hurts and arguments. Creating a rule of trust, respect and value for each other’s emotions is a fab beginning place. Use a talking stick. 

Here’s the Scoop

→ Plant the seeds. We’re all on different levels. Sometimes folks take a few years before they look back at a previous situation with you and have a ‘aha’ moment. Happens all the time when you’re ahead of the game. They didn’t understand back then but they’re starting to now. So always speak the truth.

→ When you do the work, you can see and hear those who don’t. Or are yet to. You’re ahead. Sometimes way ahead. Don’t shrink or stoop down. Lead the way. Or move away. As you continue to grow and travel along the Spiral of Consciousness, you’ll attract your tribe and peeps along the way.

→ People are a reason, a season or a lifetime. People naturally come and go in life. Sometimes you’re the pupil, sometimes you’re the teacher. Sometimes they’re your fair weather friends or your true comrades and your tribe. Birds of a feather and all that.

Pro tip:

Never ever abandon or punish children expressing emotions. Cry-it-out and self soothing are not what children do or need. They are hideous, dangerous and highly detri-mental . It’s a patriarchal reversal and hideous separation technique. It’s Neglect. It’s abnormal, highly damaging and unconscious behaviour/parenting. It’s antil-mothering. It’s also the underpinning of zero EQ. No-one has the right to cause such major upset, turmoil and cruelty to babies or young children. It’s a complete lack of empathy and unmet needs. 

 Unlearning!

• Cry-it-out. ‘It’ is the Need. Quit ignoring it! 
• Self soothing = neglect! Babies and children are incapable of self soothing. They need their Mother! The Mother-infant bond is an intrinsic link, hard wired and inbuilt to meet every need. It’s above and beyond this norm. It’s been damaged and lost along the way.
• Both of these dangerous, hideous separation techniques cause shutdown. They cause fear, confusion, upset and mistrust with unmet needs, emotional stacking – bedwetting, anxiety, depression, adhd, sensory issues and are the underpinnings of bullying, personality disorders and addictions. Youngsters cannot process it or deal with it.
• The problem is the wounded Feminine = wounded, unconscious, ‘imperfect’ mothers with a broken bond and mass patriarchal conditioning. The result is zero-low EQ. It all begins in infanthood, toddlership and childhood – the most vital and precious formative years. 
• There are 2 parenting styles – unconscious and conscious. The minefield of Motherhood misinformation is rife. The unconscious are busy justifying. And ghosting. And on social media. There’s major unlearning to be done here.
• Learn to identify your emotions – there’s a hundred words in the feelings realm and vocabulary. Never expect this of children – they cannot – nor should they have to. Most adults fail this class. 
• Learn to identify your own emotions and meet your own needs as a teen or an adult. That takes serious development and introspection! It’s the first step in awareness and EQ. Master your own. You’ll reap the benefits of improved relationships and more in-tune Mothering. Yep – a conscious Mother understands what her child does not say. And males are not Mothers. There’s a whole realm they know nothing about and never will. The end.

The First Five Years …

The first 5 years has the Power to sadden or illuminate a child’s Life, forever. Don’t fucking mess with it. Never ever hit a child. It’s your Duty to take the Utmost Care of your little Guest of Honour!

¬ Irrespective of our Uniqueness, our Circle of Needs are the same the world over. Consciousness, empathy and EQ begins in infanthood.

¬ There are 2 parenting styles: Conscious and unconscious.

Pro tips

→ Sort your shit out BEFORE you become a parent. That’s EQ! That’s called taking response-ability. That’s called personal growth into true adulthood. Heal your own child within. Because it’ll make you a better parent. Because until you become a Mother, there’s a whole realm you know nothing about. And own it when you stuff up as a parent. Because your child is part of your evolutionary process – born to you, to teach you, the unresolved parts of yourself, that you don’t own! Get over yourself.

→ Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to become an Earth Mother. Mothering has never been about ‘perfect’. Conscious Mother’s get it right. We have well adjusted, bright eyed children in the epitome of health with a hefty dose of Virtues and standards who are natural born leaders. Don’t expect us or our children to dumb down to the lowest common denominator. We’ve done the rounds and the work you’re still to do!

→ Triggers – are a part of daily life. Healthy people trigger unhealthy people all the time. Assertive peeps trigger passive aggressive peeps. Skinny women trigger fat women. Conscious Mums trigger unconscious ones. Sounds and smells trigger abused people. Music triggers feelings and memories in us all. The answer – do the inner EQ work and get healthy. Your mindset, your body, your diet, your outcomes, your choice. Love the skin or in or do something about it. Because you chose your lot on Soul level – your Chosen Life Assignment. Everyone gets precisely what they need and deserve here on Earth School. It’s all written in the stars.

→ Ever wondered how to stop the cycle of unwanted pregnancy, homelessness, neglected children, bullying and domestic violence? Now you do. Because the pendulum is swinging. Change is nigh.

The answer is to go back and re-learn and reset your own childhood with the Earth-Soul Knowledge in my Woman-lore Program. It’s the Soul-tonic you need. The internal know-how your wounded parents couldn’t give you. It’s the only way you’ll heal your own child within and make changes for yourself, your children and future generations – ready for the next Era. Pills, dollars and more of the same shit ain’t the answer.

Take the utmost care of you and yours. Enjoy unlearning and being part of the change. It’s paramount to break the chains and pave a better way. Imagine what we’ll achieve in a high EQ society!

xx Amanda

Resources

→ I have a really easy resource to figure that out, which you can find at MA/emp.guide

→ You can read more on my Women’s Health Counselling with related blog post here

→ Enroll in my mini course B99, Boundaries for Women here

→ Join my (annual) Woman-lore Program wait list here

Want to uplevel with community support plus plenty of tools and techniques to make it easy? Join my facebook group – you’ll learn how to spot a mindset block a mile away, and know exactly how to offload it.

My Gift to You